So long 2012!

What a fabulous, crazy, stressful year it has been for me! And I wouldn't change a thing. Quick update: Clinicals are going well and I'll be doing births in a few weeks. I'm too excited for words!
Thank you all for your amazing support as I welcome what will probably be my most amazing year yet. It's been almost 2 years and as this part of the journey draws closer to a close, know that I feel your love and your encouragement. It has truly helped me get through a tough year! I hope 2013 will be exceptionally beautiful for all of you.
Love, light, and blessings!
~mamamidwife~

There are no words...

By the grace of God my kindergartener made it home today...my mom and her teachers will go back to school on Monday and their kids will be there...there are no words. Its never ok when a child is lost but for someone to do something so horrific to these babies...there just aren't any words.
I stopped in Newtown on my way back to the city this past summer for gas. I remember thinking how sweet and quiet and cute this little town was-its one of the reasons I said I would move to Connecticut if I had to, to find a job. 
I don't understand why people are so malicious. I can't wrap my mind around the fact that anybody would want to hurt a child. I can't comprehend the loss that these families are enduring. I don't know what to say and all I want to do is hug my child and keep him close. All I have to offer are my tears for a heartbroken community and prayers that God will hold these families close and keep all of our children safe when they return to school on Monday.

God bless you Newtown. And may God bless the 26 angels who earned their wings today.

First week of clinicals...check!

What a crazy awesome week this has been! 46 women in my first 3 days. I know for some this is no big deal but when you've been out of nursing for a while it takes a minute to get back into things.
I absolutely love my site. There are 6 amazing midwives (4 of whom I've already spent time with this week). This week they have all given me the space I need to adjust and practice at my own speed. For me it was exactly what I needed from the novice point of view, to feel safe enough to say "ok I'm ready to try this on my own". Which is exactly what I did Wednesday and Thursday. I've been doing lots of fundal heights and fetal heart tones. It's funny how no 2 people do the exact same thing but get the same result. I also did my first exam on a pregnant uterus...I don't know why but there is something so exciting about validating all this stuff that has been crammed into my head the last year and a half. I had such a great week interacting with patients-I forgot how much I love being a nurse. The charting to keep up with my clinical numbers is not so much fun but it's a necessary evil that gets me closer to getting my degree.
So anyway I'm looking forward to getting back next week. My goal is to look over some more stuff this weekend so I can get more comfortable in the teaching and answering questions part of patient interaction. Hopefully by the end of next week I will feel more comfortable seeing patients on my own. 

Princess Kate = Awesome!!!

So by now you've heard that Princess Kate is expecting a baby but is being hospitalized for hyperemesis gravidarum. I gotta say-it made me really like her! I don't know what it is but something about Kate puking her guts out gives me the warm fuzzies. Maybe it's because she's found her (literal) prince charming and I attract toads that turn into nightmares. Or maybe its because I'm sick in the head. :) But I do feel incredibly sorry for her. Not one day went by while I was pregnant that I can't remember not vomiting at least 2 or 3 times a day. To this day I still think I consumed more gatorade than an athlete does in an entire season. And hyperemesis gravidarum is way worse than what I went through. It's nature's cruel and unusual punishment to women already faced with hormonal imbalances, pain in all the wrong places, and cankles. It's not something I would wish on my worse enemy and I certainly wouldn't wish it on this girl who can't change clothes without causing an international shopping spree. So despite my joyful glee at her misery, I wish her and Prince William a safe, happy pregnancy and I hope she gets well soon.
And P.S. Kate-I'll love you more if you go #teammidwife!  The UK has some fabulous midwives!

Finally!!!

Well after a month long delay (I will refrain from finger pointing), I am off to clinical tomorrow. Tomorrow is strictly observing and doing some housekeeping stuff. I've been granted guest privileges for the health system so I'll get an official badge and such tomorrow. I'm grateful that I won't have much to do tomorrow because I feel like everything I crammed into my brain in October is gone. As a student I always want to go in prepared but I feel like I can't remember a thing! This is such an unusual place for me to be. In nursing school I was very comfortable in clinicals because most everything I had already done or was familiar with. But this is a whole new ballgame. A lot of people keep telling me it's best to start with a fresh pair of eyes but I'm feeling like maybe I should have tried a little harder to work L&D before now. I've tried channeling my nervous energy into something constructive but so far I've manged to clean everything twice. So anyway, here goes nothing! Looking forward to sharing my experiences soon! :)

My humblest apology with an update

OK complete honesty here...my last post went a little off the rails. It's true what they say-never write in anger. I'm not going to rehash why I was so angry but you can read why here. Anyway, I did something I said I would never do, and that's stoop to the level of ignorance displayed by others. It took some great friends and a little soul searching to remember that. So for now I've put my alter ego back into her box and I apologize if any of you were offended by the language.

So for those of you were asking, I am still hanging out at home. There was a paperwork malfunction on the school side that has now delayed me starting clinicals. I feel like I loose everything I learned the more I sit here. So while I wait and hope that this one little piece of paper comes through soon, I've been doing busy work for advanced women's health, and trying to work on my contraception knowledge for when I do actually start in the office. I've also been catching up on all the books I wanted to read but didn't have the time to read while I was taking classes.

So for now I wait. I've actually started narrowing down my list of states I am willing to move to for a job if I need to. So far Arizona is nice, New Mexico (although I don't know much about the state as a whole), Colorado, Washington, Oregon, and Connecticut are all on my list. It's not that I'm opposed to staying in NC but right now the climate for midwifery doesn't seem to be a good one. It would be nice to find a great practice and gain confidence and then one day come back to this area and start a midwifery practice/birth center. It's so obvious that there is a need for midwives and a birth center in my city but it seems like a very daunting task to put it together.

Is it Nov. 7th yet? (Mature audiences only)

First, let me offer my love to all the victims of Sandy. If you have the means, I hope you will do something to help our neighbors up and down the eastern seaboard.

Ok. I've tried to be sweet and kind but really screw this. I'm really ready for this election to be over because frankly many of my so called friendships may not make it through the weekend. I don't know if the political climate has always been this bad because I've never really paid this much attention (although I do recall being shouted down by a coworker in the break room back in 2004 by a Bush cult member). I have never been so disrespected by people who claim to be my friend (although some of these people I use the definition with loosely because we are merely social network acquaintances-clearly my first mistake).  I've been a registered voter for 12 years, and in these past 12 years I have never been so disgusted. Over the past few months I've been called everything from lazy to stupid, been accused of not being a true Christian (whatever that means), been called a nigger...the list goes on and on. I've tried to be civil because you just can't argue with racist, moronic pricks but this shit has gotten old. By now you can probably tell which side of the aisle I'm leaning towards this year which has made me an obvious target here in the south. And what happened to all that southern hospitality shit they tout to the rest of the world? Southern hospitality my ass! I feel like I'm in the midst of the bloods and the crips! But what astounds me (why I'm not really sure) is that its both sides. I've seen my more liberal friends give as good as they get.  Lurking just under the surface is my alter ego and she really just wants to tell some of you to please shut the fuck up and sit the hell down thank you very much!

 I just can't wrap my head around the fact sometimes that this is 2012 and my skin color is a factor or my religious beliefs are called into question because I don't think like you. How small minded and insecure these people must be to feel like they have to put someone else down for being different. Funny though that just when I had lost all hope in humanity the sweetest thing happened to me. I went to vote early this past Tuesday and it had started to get cold out. I'm still in denial that summer is over so I didn't wear a jacket over my sweater. Anyway, as I'm trying to hurry inside with my son, an older gentleman asked me if I wanted a conservative voting guide. I politely smiled at him and said no thank you. Heading back out to the car, this same man stopped me again and told me that he just had to say thank you. When I asked what for, he said that he'd stood by himself all day, getting ugly looks and snide remarks from other volunteers and voters. This had been his 4th day volunteering and in 4 days not one person on "the other side" had been kind to him. With tears in his eyes he simply wanted to thank me for my kindness. Here in lies the moral of this rant-we can't all agree. I don't think its in our nature to do so. But we can each represent our side without resorting to name calling. Trust me when I say that these are words for all of us to live by, my heathen self included. I hope as these last few days of election season play out, you'll remember the story of this volunteer. It's a shame that anybody would have to thank you for being kind, but be that person somebody wants to thank.
And P.S.:No matter who you support-don't forget to vote.
And yes, I approved this message, cuss words and all! :)

A new beginning...

If you had asked me a year ago if I would have the warm fuzzies while saying clinical bound I would probably have said heck no! But here I am, six months from completing grad school, celebrating the beginning of the end. CB was amazing. It turned out to be more than I ever thought it would be. I expected huge amounts of stress and anxiety and trust me when I say I experienced those emotions. But I never expected it to be spiritual, and emotional. I feel like I learned so much and even though I still have a pretty good level of anxiety about going into practice I'm feeling a little better prepared. I'm happy to say that I passed both classes and completed all my checkoffs. Right now I'm just enjoying a little down time while waiting for my clinicals to start. Figures that I would end up on the losing end of some paper work issues but I'm hopefully optimistic that things will work out over the next week or so and things will go well. I'm starting off in the clinic seeing patients so no babies for the first few weeks but I'm grateful that I will be able to ease into things. Let the fun begin!

Raise your hand if you're exhausted!

Well first I would just like to say that I am super proud of myself for lasting 6 days now with no television...Good practice for all my nights that I'll be up doing births. So anyway, yeah I made it to day 6. Just 2 more days to go before I get to hug my little boy. I think that this has been the hardest part is not being with my son. I've never been away from him for this long and its pretty depressing! I'm to the point now where I just want to finish this up and get home quickly!
Today I caught my first fake babies. We had some pretty awesome simulations and they have been a real confidence booster. Am I still scared that I will drop the babies in the floor? Oh absolutely! I'm told though that the fear is pretty normal, especially at this stage. I've also learned how to suture-I would like to think that I'm ok at it but I will be doing lots of practice over the next few months.
Tomorrow is shoulder dystocia day. It's also the day where we get to suture beef tongues. Yes...I said beef tongues. Pray for me!
By the way, 8 of us, myself included, got special matching tattoos. Some people think we're an odd little bunch but we're all pretty excited and happy with them. It's been a wonderful bonding experience and I know that we will be in each others lives for many years to come.

Live from CB...

So life here at our clinical orientation/experience is very busy! We've had some down time to just hang out and talk but its really just blowing off steam before the next set of check offs. Yesterday was the check off for the physical exam. Sounds really easy but when you have to pull information out that you haven't thought about since the beginning of nursing school 5 years ago and learn new info on top of it not as a nurse but as a provider-its pretty tough. I passed though, only missing one set of information that I knew but frankly just ran out of time. Having had that behind us it was nice to just hang out around the bon fire last night and blow off steam with the ladies. We've actually discovered that we're a pretty wild bunch and we have a lot of fun together. Something tells me that there will be many wine and chocolate filled reunions for years to come.
This morning was truly vagina boot camp. We had the pleasure of doing pelvic exams on each other (so much fun!) and I'm happy to report that I fingered my first cervix. To some this is either not a big deal or really gross and disgusting but it was pretty satisfying to know that I can get my hands into somebody's vag area. :)
So I'll spare you the rest of the gory details but so far so good. I'm missing my kid like crazy but thats the only really big downfall to this whole experience. Tonight we are getting off campus for the first time since Wed. night and busting loose. We've decided to get tattoos for our next bonding experience and I'm really excited. I already have one tat but I've wanted another one for a while and I think after the past 2 days I've earned it. I'll try to remember to post pics of everybody's creations-that is if I'm not too impaired! 4 days down, 4 more to go!

(Almost) Live from CB...

Well I spent the last 2 weeks stressing myself out for this occasion that really has come a little too quickly for my liking. That's right ladies and gents. Tomorrow morning I'm trekking back up into the Appalachians to start my clinical journey. Somebody asked me what I'm feeling today. Honestly? I'm repeating my mantra that I will probably be repeating the entire 6 hour drive tomorrow-Holy Shit! And if I didn't have enough to worry about my sweet little heathen has chosen this moment to act out, my tires are nearly bald and flat, I've had no time to pack let alone go grocery shopping which means leaving half a box of cereal and some milk for my child to live off of while I'm gone. Oh and did I mention I forgot to renew my car registration yesterday? I just have to believe that all this hell has a purpose and that the next 8 days will be nothing but great. I am looking forward to meeting the lovely women I've been talking to through our classes and facebook and I'm looking forward to knocking these skills exams out so I can finally get a decent night's sleep.
So I will be doing my best to blog everyday. The wi-fi/cellular signal is not the best but I'll try. Things are about to get really interesting so stay tuned!

There's always one...

So today I had the pleasure of listening to someone explain to me how they don't feel that I am quite ready to move on to the next level and I really need to "up my game". After months of struggling, I'd finally gotten some of my confidence back only to have it shattered today. Right afterwards I found myself once again questioning if this is the road that I'm supposed to be on. If someone who has been in the business for years thinks that I'm not ready then who I am to question?
But the more I thought about it, the more pissed off I got. How dare this person knock another future midwife down! This has always been one of the things I don't understand about nursing...why do we treat newbies and students so horribly? If we have this great big shortage in nursing then why aren't we cultivating good nurses? What's the point of shooting them down before they've ever had their chance to make their mark on the world?
I can tell you that this chick is not taking it any more. I have so much more to learn and I will never be the perfect midwife but I know that I can be a damn good one. For nearly 30 years I've had people non-stop telling me what I can't do and what I'll never achieve and each time I rise above and prove them wrong. This time will be no different. So thanks to the naysayer today for the motivation. I can't wait to don my hood and walk across that stage and prove you wrong. :)

So much for a little R&R

Finishing last didactic term-Pure awesomeness! Deciding to take a little peek at the lessons and tutorials I need to get done before clinical bound in the next 3 weeks-EPIC FAIL! I don't know how or when I got to this point in my life where I can't sit still and do absolutely nothing when I'm supposed to be resting. Since Friday night, I've discovered that I have some "light" reading and a lot of reviewing to do to be ready to ace the dreaded physical exam and newborn checkoffs I have to do in Hyden next month. Add that to the fact that I have to learn how to suture and perform pap smears among other things and I'm officially back in panic mode. The only bright spot in all of this is that I'm looking forward to meeting the beautiful women who have been on this journey with me, especially this last term. Although the daily 8 day schedule looks crazy, I'm hoping there will be time for wine/alcoholic beverages and cheetos. I'm thinking of going to Sam's and getting one of those giant buckets of margarita mix and salt and lots of tequilla because short of zanax that is about the only thing that will calm me down.

Mush for brain

I'm going to keep this post as clean as possible because frankly, I feel like screaming out every 4 letter word I know followed by "yeah I'm done!" (the first phrase about an hour ago went something like "s*** yeah I'm done!"). Don't judge-I'm exhausted. Not just physically but emotionally as well. I started out this term in the hospital and midway through was drowning in all three of my classes. Just 4 short weeks ago I was feeling incredibly low and down on myself. Today? I know deep down that I will be a good midwife. Don't get me wrong...I still have a very long way to go to get to that point but I do have a little bit of my confidence back. For now-I'm going to tackle my typical the term is over to do list. This list is comprised of things that get put on the back burner when school is super busy and I just don't have the time. Some of the items on the list? Clean, get back to cooking and not eating out every night, exercise, shave my legs, mani/pedi, take my months delinquent library books (that I have not read) back to the library, and oh yeah sleep. I am going to just take this next week to do nothing and rest and then I will start to prepare for clinical bound. I can't wait to share that experience with you guys. But until then, get out and enjoy this beautiful fall weather! Thanks for sticking with me through this crazy journey!

Remembering 9/11

It's been 11 years since I got the urgent phone call from my mom telling me to turn on the tv the twin towers had been hit by planes. I of course took my sweet time, remembering that we had lived through the first attack some years ago and thinking that she is overreacting. Little did I know that turning on the tv would change my life forever. As I sat glued to the tv with tears streaming down my face, I remember praying as I never had before, hoping that there would be tons of survivors. As we now know however, there weren't. My heart was broken that day and to some extent still is. It's hard to imagine that there is any good left in the world after that horrific day, and yet we saw and experienced just how much good there was when we came together not just as a country but as citizens of the world. I hope that you've taken a little time out of your busy schedule to remember all the victims of 9/11 and the men and women of our armed forces who have made the ultimate sacrifice for our freedom and safety.

My (non) Exciting update: Living the guilty life! :)

I have started a new post a thousand times but then I feel guilty for taking time out from reading the trillions of pages of readings and studying and I go back to it. However, I promise that in the next month or so this blog will get really exciting because come hell or high water I am going to start clinicals next month. So this will be a quick, non-exciting update. 3 weeks ago I was failing all three classes...shocking (NOT!) I know. Fast forward to today where I'm passing all 3 classes. This doesn't mean that I am completely out of the woods but I have positioned myself to do well which I am very happy about. We have 2 weeks left and I cannot wait to kiss this term goodbye! I can't for the life of me figure out why they put these 3 classes together when so many students and faculty have argued against it. But anyway...Life moves along.
Single momhood is by no means easy but it can be so rewarding. I sent my baby boy off to kindergarten this year and its been a bittersweet experience. Every time I send him off I have some random flashback from the last five years and its hard to accept how time is flying by. This past year has left me feeling like the worst mom at times because I can't do everything I want to do for him. Yes he's a pretty good, well-adjusted kid but my own personal mom guilt is a bitch! I have to admit though it has motivated me to keep it moving because I want nothing but the best for him. Besides I'm too close to being done now to quit. So I trudge on one day at a time. Thanks for sticking with me...its been a crazy journey so far but the best is yet to come! XO

Hi I'm Tamara and I'm a masochist!

16 months into this program and it all boils down to this.....What in the hell was I thinking getting into this? Dreams are dreams for a reason-seriously why am I doing this to myself? That is the question that has been circling in my brain for the last 2 weeks. What sane person puts themselves into this position? I'm exhausted, bitchy, cranky, depressed and miserable all because of this term. I've heard about midwife burn out but I haven't even left school yet!
So you can pretty much guess that this is my worst term ever. Nothing makes sense. Making us read about one thing and then in the next breath read about the same topic with contradicting information is not helping! Everyone keeps saying take a breath you will get it but frankly I'm starting not to believe that. I've gotten to the point that I could take my massive amounts of debt and walk away and not look back. And that scares me because this really did make sense 2 years ago. I had a plan dangit! I haven't strayed from that plan but I'm dangerously close to it. I keep trying desperately to remember all my reasons for wanting to be a midwife. The main reason has always been to have a better life for me and my son but really-will he love me any less if I'm not a midwife? Wouldn't he rather have a mom who doesn't snap at him 50 times a day because she's functioning on 2 and 3 hours of sleep a night? I could be suzy homemaker and go back to work as a nurse-its a very respectable job that makes me happy. So why am I doing this to myself? I wish I had time to fully think of a response but I don't have any answers and my daily me time that I give myself is up. Will this ever get any better?

The end of my summer vacation

So tomorrow is the official start of the summer term. This is it. My last term before clinical bound. Over the break I received confirmation of my clinical bound date in October. I sound like a broken record but I really can't believe this is happening. Funny how you wait your whole life for something and it feels like it will never happen and then suddenly, its within arms reach. But first things first...summer term. The term that I have both dreaded and looked forward to. I'm taking all my advanced classes this term and from this end it seems so scary and surreal. This is where everything needs to come together before clinical bound and I've been wracking my brain trying to remember everything (which is impossible). I actually have tried to give myself a pretty good head start with readings and a couple forum assignments and I'm hoping I can keep this trend up. The bright side to this term--no 50,000 page papers that need a billion statistics or consumer surveys or interviews or anything! That alone is enough to make me do a happy dance! Anyway, wish me luck! I'll be updating periodically, plus adding my sarcastic wit to topics not having to do with midwifery from time to time, to keep things interesting (a la my fifty shades rant). Gonna go strap on my seat belt now because its about to get bumpy...

Why the hubub over 50 shades?

So I'm basking in my between term vacation, doing some light reading for next term (what can I say I'm a masochist!) and catching up on the books I've stocked up on for mindless reading. A few weeks ago a classmate sent me digital copies of the 50 shades trilogy after a ton of friends and classmates recommended them. I have to tell you now-I'm not a romance novel kinda girl. I tried reading Zane a few years ago and I just couldn't do it. Harlequin romance novels? They make me want to vomit or gouge my eyes out (sorry to those of you who enjoy those books they're just not for me). I'm a mystery kinda girl-give me the latest Tess Gerritsen or Mary Higgins Clark novel and I'm good to go. But I was bored last week and decided to give 50 Shades a chance. Admittedly, I'm hooked.
There have been lots of discussions about these books from what type of fiction it is (romance vs erotic fiction) to why women should be banned from reading this book to why you're going to hell if you read this book. Really people? Its a book. A work of fiction. What happened to reading for enjoyment? Warning-this may fall under your TMI category but what the hell....I'm an open book. I didn't think 80% of what is in any of the books are particularly horrible. Hell I've done a lot of that stuff (stop laughing I was young and limber once!) Frankly, I thought it was hot. Does that mean that I'm secretly getting off reading these books, or walking around daydreaming about my own Christian Grey? No. When I read and thoroughly enjoyed the Harry Potter Series did I want to run off to Hogwarts? No. I like the Hunger Games. Did that make me want to lock myself in a bubble and kill little kids? No. And I enjoyed the Twilight books? Am I searching for a 100 year old vampire to love? No! And why not? Because its fiction! Again...Its a book! The point of reading a book, at least for me anyway, is to escape from life's everyday stresses. When did reading for fun become something else to debate and argue about? Why can't anybody just read for the pure enjoyment of reading anymore without analyzing every little detail? Why can't we just lighten up?
And to those of you who have spoken out about it...have you read it? Did you listen to the media and hear that its "mommy porn" and judge it? Maybe if you actually read the book, you might enjoy the actual story of Christian and Anastasia. Some of you may even relate to it. I know so many women (myself included) who meet a man we think we can save from whatever demons they have in their lives. Why are you so afraid of this book? Are you afraid (gasp!) you might actually enjoy an actual work of fiction? If you don't want to read it-fine. Don't judge the rest of us who actually are enjoying the love story. And if you don't like this posting, feel free to come tie me up and spank me!
Laters!

I'm on vacation...sort of

Yes I'm still here. Another busy term is done! I cannot believe how fast all of this is starting to go by. It doesn't seem that my last term of didactic courses are just 2 weeks away. It seems so unreal that I'll be catching babies this fall. And the fact that this time next year I'll (hopefully) be a CNM...mind boggling! I remember when this was a dream, something I was thinking of doing and then it turned into how am I going to do this and now not only am I doing it but the end is in sight. Unreal! Regardless of my nostalgia I am excited. So next on the list all advanced classes. Advanced antepartum, advanced intrapartum, and advanced post-partum/newborn care. Yeah send up a little prayer for me.
In the meantime, I'm taking a few days out to just chill, read things that aren't birth related. Someone sent me the digital versions of the Fifty Shades series and I can't believe it but I am in love with these books! I'm not usually a fan of "smut" books (as my mom likes to call romance books) but I find that I can't put them down. In fact I've had to institute a ban tonight before I start the third book because if I do I'll never go to bed.
I'm also looking forward to attending AABC's How to Start a Birth Center workshop this weekend in Connecticut. I've heard great things about the conference from other Frontier students and I'll be seeing my very first birth center on Friday. I'm also looking forward to meeting other Frontier students. We have so much fun chatting about all sorts of things on FB so I'm looking forward to hanging out with some of these amazing women and putting faces with names.

Happy Memorial Day!

It's been a busy couple of weeks but I am taking a little time out to wish you all a Happy Memorial Day here in the states. Thank you to all our service men and women who have and continue to fight for our freedom every day. As I work myself crazy to finish this term I wish you all love, peace, and a safe return home soon to your loved ones if you are serving overseas.

All about midwives

So you've heard about a midwife but you're not quite sure who we are or what we do. This post is designed to answer some of those questions and provide you with links to more information describing the role of midwives. There is so many facets to midwifery and our role in birth and every single piece of information is not included here, but it is a general way for you to be able to learn more about midwives.

So what is a midwife? How are we trained? How are we different from physicians? If you've ever found yourself asking these questions fear not! I have some answers for you. Certified nurse midwives are

educated in both nursing and midwifery disciplines, earning graduate degrees and completing a midwifery education program through a school accredited by the ACME (Accreditation Commission for Midwifery Education).  Following completion of such a program, a national certification exam given by the American Midwifery Certification Board (ACMB) must be passed in order to receive and practice under the title, CNM.  

What a midwife does 

Midwives differ from physicians in that we take a more "hands off" approach. Instead of trying to manage your body, we let your body do what comes natural. Take a look at this comparison on YouTube made by a pregnant woman: OB/GYN vs Midwife

Midwives practice in a variety of settings, including hospitals, private practices, birth centers, and within the home. 

Are midwives as safe as physicians?

That's a question I personally get a lot. Here are the facts:

he American Journal of Public Health published a statement that births attended by CNMs are as safe as those attended by physicians.

·         Women receiving care from physicians are three times more likely to receive an episiotomy and twice as likely to receive induction medications and/or cesarean sections than women being care for by midwives.

·         The Cochrane Pregnancy and Childbirth Group found that midwife-led care is associated with several benefits for mothers and babies and had no adverse effects.

·         In matching study populations, midwives provide outcomes as safe as physicians with a lower rate of cesareans, use of oxytocin and epidurals as well as a lower rate of low birth weight infants. 

Another question I get is what is a birth center? 

Birth centers are home-like structure that may be free-standing, or located within an existing healthcare system, that offers care to low-risk women throughout pregnancy, labor, and delivery. Their program of care is based on the wellness ideology of pregnancy and birth being normal

·         Birth centers offer family-centered care of the healthy woman before, during, and after normal pregnancy, labor, and birth. Some of these facilities have their own laboratory services, offer child birth education, home visits, extra office visits if needed, and the initial newborn exams

·         Birth centers, through studies, have proven to have comparable intrapartum and neonatal mortality rates to those of low-risk hospital births. Birth centers are responsible for meeting regulations of the state in which they are located for licensure. These centers must follow stringent rules found in the National Standards for Birth Centers, through Continuous Quality Improvement Program for Birth Centers, and they must be accredited by the Commission for the Accreditation of Birth Centers.

Here in North Carolina, there are two birth centers, one in Chapel Hill and another in Statesville. 

Take a look around at these two wonderful birth centers!

Natural Beginnings Birth Center | Women's Birth & Wellness Center

Here are some great links to check out about midwifery:

I am a midwife

American College of Nurse Midwives (ACNM)

American Association of Birth Centers (AABC)

My Best Birth

Why Chose a Midwife?

If you have any questions please feel free to ask them in the comments below!

Dude where is my degree!?!

Ok forgive my french but damn is school over yet? I'm on the verge of full on burn out mode. It could be the 9 hours of sleep I've gotten in the last 48 hours or the spring "itis" I've suddenly developed. It's way too nice to have all this work and studying to do! Surprisingly though I've managed to stay afloat this term and considering that we're halfway done with the spring term I consider that a major victory. Its an even bigger milestone to be passing all my classes and not have failed any exams.
For all of my non facebook friends this past week has been pretty awesome for me. Last week I finally heard back about the honor society and apparently I'm smart enough to join! :) And I've finally locked down my last preceptor. I'm very excited to be returning to the hospital where I first learned about midwifery and was trained as a doula. The midwife who has agreed to work with me is really sweet and the practice, schedule, teaching methods really agree with my personal philosophy on birth and my learning style. And if all that wasn't exciting enough, I turned 30 last Friday. Normally people aren't thrilled about crossing into the third decade but I've been looking forward to this birthday for the past year or so. I finally feel my actual age.
So anywho life continues. I'm working on my market research paper which involves surveying people in my community about their midwifery knowledge. I had hoped to do some in person surveying but it looks like that won't happen, so I'll have to settle for other methods. I'm hoping the local doctors will be open to helping me out and not making things too difficult. Intrapartum is probably my favorite class-difficult but I feel like I'm learning a lot. Definitely makes you think about how we treat women as they progress through labor and delivery.
Next week I register for my last term of formal classes. All advanced classes so I'll probably be bald by the end of that term, only to trek back to Kentucky for clinical bound which frankly, is scaring the hell out of me right now. Despite that horrible fear though I am excited to be completing this part of the journey and I'm looking forward to the next phase.

Late update

So now that I'm well into week 2 I will say that yes I have dived head first into my classes. Quick somebody grab some wood and knock on it because right now I'm actually caught up. This term I decided to go with a different schedule. I take each day of the week and devote it to a particular class. So for instance today I'm working on Women's Health in advance of taking the first exam tomorrow and then tomorrow I'll work on another class. Is it helping my procrastination? Some. I guess my grades will show how this schedule works out for me. In addition to taking women's health, I'm also exploring the business of side of birth in my market research class. I'm hoping to reach some of our closed minded community members through some birth surveys and education. I feel like if I'm going to practice in this area I need the support of everyone- physicians, nurse practitioners, and hospital CEO's in addition to the women and their families. And lastly I have intrapartum. I ordered my pelvis model and fetal head today after unsuccessfully attempting to draw my own version yesterday. I actually am looking forward to going deeper into this class because I'm fascinated at the things that go on in labor that you can only see and recognize as a provider. I'm secretly hoping that the enthusiasm will translate into an "A" in this class since it counts for 4 credit hours.
Anyway, for now I'm good and I'm counting down to my first cruise in 20 years, my 30th birthday (fast approaching in less than a month), and finally making it to the famed AABC birth center conference. Thank you to all who continue to read and watch me grow into this new life. XOXO

It's a sad, sad world

Going to veer off the topic of midwifery for a minute and write about something that is on my mind tonight. Over the past few weeks there have been many conversations about racism-some say it still exists and others say not so much. I can't tell you what it means to be white, hispanic, asian, native american, or any other ethnicity in this world. All I can speak from is what it means to be a black woman. And don't get me wrong, racism is a two way street. Because yes there are blacks who discriminate and spew hate towards whites and hispanics. But from my vantage point, I can tell you that racism is alive and well.
Last year, when I announced that I was going back to school to fulfill my dream of becoming a midwife, most everyone was super supportive. But one person in particular asked me "Why would you want to do that? Black people don't do that". What is the appropriate response to such an ignorant statement? It took me back to a comment a teacher made to me in high school. She told me that it was only because of my color that I got into the college I did because I was black. It couldn't have been my 3.7 GPA or my extensive community service background, or work ethic, but because of my skin color. It shouldn't surprise me-but all the same it was still shocking and hurtful. I was raised to not see color. I've heard the stories from my mom and others about growing up during the civil rights movement. But we were taught those stories not to hate but to learn from the past and continue to move forward to equality. So what happened? Why is it that in 2012 these stereotypes and racial disparities still exist? How can I teach my son to go beyond color and see a person for who they are when a friend stated tonight that the way I vote must be based on the color of skin? If things are supposed to be so much better then why are things like that still said about someone of color?
Lots of questions with no easy answers.
I can't describe how deeply troubling and how sad it makes me that no matter how hard I work, or how much I achieve there are some who will never be able to see past my skin tone.

From a budding midwife...

So I'm slowly starting to make this transition from nurse to midwife. It's really an interesting journey. I have to admit that a few times in the past I've been that pushy, give it to me now patient who will call the office and keep calling until I get what I want. I know, I know! No need to leave a comment about how annoying and irritating that is....now having to see things from the side of the provider/midwife I'm kinda embarrassed by that behavior. So anyway I've started going through my own experiences and thinking about the questions I had as an expecting mom and trying to think of how I would have approached or answered those same questions as a midwife. I've also started asking friends and family to pose these questions to me also. I'm hoping that this will eventually help me out in practice when I'm expected to know the answer.
So having said that remember this: I'm not a midwife! I'm studying to be one but I'm not there yet. I don't claim to know all the answers and though I use the resources at my disposal to answer these questions, nothing is ever a substitute for good old fashioned face to face conversations with your doctor or midwife. In other words, don't sue me. :)
So here goes...
Someone asked me "How do women avoid going to the hospital early"? Even if you don't work in L&D we've all done it, or know someone who has. You've been having contractions all day. They could be braxton hicks but then again, it could be time. If you're a first timer, what do you do? Do you grab the bag and run out the door running every red light because the baby's coming? Do you try to patiently wait it out? Or do you call your provider? In my honest opinion there is no easy answer. Many of the physicians and midwives I've worked with over the last 10 years have a "better to be safe than sorry" policy. Which is great except when gas is $4 a gallon and not everybody lives five minutes from the nearest hospital or birth center. So my first suggestion is to educate yourself on the signs and symptoms of labor. As your body prepares to give birth its not unusual to have contractions that start and then stop (usually the minute you get to the hospital!). Chances are if you're still smiling and talking, and able to walk without dropping to your knees in pain, you're not ready to make that trip to the hospital just yet. Learn how to time your contractions--ask your physician or midwife at what point they want you to call or come to the hospital/birth center. Generally if you're having contractions every 3-5 minutes and they last 1 minute or more its time to start making your way to the hospital/birth center.
My second suggestion is this-no monitor, machine, or person other than yourself is a better source of information. Learn to trust your instincts and listen to what your body is telling you. Case in point...while in labor with my son, a random nurse came in and checked me and told me I was 7 centimeters and still had plenty of time left before I would start pushing. Going on what I was feeling, I politely told her she was wrong and that I knew it was time for me to start pushing. She gave me a look and in her own sweet way told me that she has done this for 15 years and she knew better than me. I won't go into details about what came out of my mouth but my son was born nearly 30 minutes later. Lesson learned: always trust your body!

So there's my two cents. I know there are lots of experienced L&D nurses, midwives, and mommas out there who have their own tips and advice on the subject so don't be shy. Share your ideas with this budding midwife!

Miss me?

Hiya! Miss me? Again forgive the lack of posts but this term has really kicked my arse. It's been a long 11 weeks. In my last post I mentioned that antepartum was my problem class this term. This morning when I woke up I knew exactly what grade I needed to get to push me from a C to a B, and I'm happy to say that I successfully made that happen. Well I studied but the good Lord had a hand in there too. I thought I was super worried about last terms classes but Antepartum took the cake. This class really made me feel like I was at a disadvantage not being  a labor and delivery nurse. I felt like such a failure. But it's behind me now and I will happily take my B and move on.

So I get a 2 week break (yay!!!) and then I move on to intrapartum, women's health, and market research. I'm looking forward to intrapartum and I hope that it doesn't beat me down like antepartum did this term. I am not looking forward to market research at all because it involves another long paper that is worth so much more than a one credit hour class.

My plans over the next couple of weeks...NOTHING! I recently purchased an Ipad 2 (damn you Apple for putting out the Ipad 3 a week later!) and I've discovered the joy of downloading digital books not related to midwifery. I plan on getting back into my workout routine too-I've really pushed that off to the side these past few weeks.

Happy Spring by the way! Get out and enjoy the beautiful weather!

Still going strong...

This has been a really busy term as evidenced by my lack of posting. But I'm still here going strong. Antepartum has really been my big challenge this term and I really have to kick it in to overdrive or I will be taking it again. I can't afford to fail it financially or GPA-ially (yeah I know I made it up) so I'm working as hard as I can. I really have enjoyed meeting other student nurse midwives and alumni from Frontier-they've been a huge source of inspiration and have willed me to keep going. So for all you wonderful baby catchers out there thanks for the love! I hope to have time for a full post soon!

Here we go again!

Well those 3 weeks flew by! Feels like just yesterday I was slowly backing away from the padded room and now here I am getting ready to walk back into the crazy bin (no offense to anyone who has been there). I'm really excited to have all midwifery classes for the next couple of terms. This term consists of community assessment which I think is exactly like it sounds. Its another part of a 3 or 4 part class that requires us to learn more about our community demographics. I also have antepartum and postpartum/newborn care. I think of all 3 I'm most looking forward to antepartum because I've hardly ever been around women in early pregnancy. Usually when we meet they're past 30 weeks or already in labor. Having been through it with my son, it'll be nice to look at pregnancy as a provider. Anyway, I'm looking forward to this term-I may regret it in a few weeks but I am looking forward to it. So Stay Tuned!