This week I've been doing a lot of reflecting. As you may have heard by now I'm going to be appearing on Oprah's life class next Sunday. As I was sitting there watching the taping this thought came to me--I wish I could have seen this moment when I was younger. So I thought I'd write that young girl a letter...
My dear, sweet troubled girl, with the weight of the world on your shoulders-I wish you could see us now. If only you were gifted with the power to see the future, you'd be able to see that everything turns out alright. While you quietly cry in your room, listening to the gun shots ring through the night, wondering how God himself must hate you because you had the unfortunate turn of events to be born to a parent that failed miserably at loving you, that you would not only find love but be able to see it every day when you walk into a room and your little boy's eyes light up. How I wish you knew that every idiot that told you you'd never amount to anything would be proven wrong each time you walked across the stage in your cap and gown, a new accomplishment under your belt. Remember those dreams and essays you used to write about doing good in the world through medicine? Turns out we were right all along. That love and passion for helping others never goes away. We take a much different path but end up finding the most perfect and rewarding career you could ask for. And yes we get to deliver babies! As much as you contemplated ending your life, I'm glad you didn't. Because you would have missed out on the beauty of the world around you. At age 31 you finally got to see the Rockies, and the beach in California...you've crossed this country multiple times chasing the sun and the moon. And the fun has only just started. I wish you knew that while you were dreaming of a different, more perfect life, you would finally come to know true happiness. And it isn't in just one thing. It's everywhere. You'll learn to love, and trust, and believe in yourself again. The tears will stop and your trademark smile will come back. You'll learn to accept what is and your joy will return. I know it's tough now. Some days you wish your eyes would never open again. But hang in there. That light at the end of the tunnel is not a train barreling down on you. It's the hope and dreams that keep you here. It's the life you've only ever dreamed about and its waiting to embrace you. Keep going because when you get there, trust me...its more than even you could have ever imagined.
