I'm still here! Whew! This first week has been incredibly rough. It's not so much hard as it is hard work. I tried to visualize in my head everything I knew I would have to do but its still a bit overwhelming. I'm learning to take things in stride though and just go day by day. This actually applies to my life outside of school as well.
Last week, I received a not so good report from my surgical oncologist. If you don't know, I've been diagnosed with a rare tumor that is benign but incredibly aggressive. I've had 3 previous surgeries, and started low dose chemotherapy to try and slow its growth. I was hopefully optimistic that this would work until this surgeon who I've put so much trust into dropped a bombshell on me that he thinks amputation of my lower arm is the next best step. What is the appropriate response to that statement? Is there a certain etiquette that one has to follow when you get that kind of news? I didn't know what to say. I just sat there and nodded-I imagine that my eyes glazed over when I started to tune him out. I can't help but wonder what his reaction would be if the situations were reversed. I just wanted to scream at him..."Don't you understand these hands are meant for healing? For helping to bring new life into the world? How did we get here?"
Needless to say...I want another opinion. This is not an option as far as I'm concerned.
Anyway, today my wonderful medical oncologist found a clinical trial that may be the answer to my prayers. It's all very technical but the bottom line is that there is a new drug currently being tested that goes after the mechanism that causes growth in this type of tumor. I'm trying not to get too excited but inside I am dancing for joy. And between that great news and my wonderful average in patho right now-life doesn't seem so bad anymore.
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